First of all, I’d like to thank the Lord above. These past few months, I have been in some kind of.. how do I put it? Minor depression?
According to the US National Library of Medicine, depression is described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods.
I’m not gonna lie to myself or to my blog (which nobody reads, anyway) that I am still in the phase of depression. Well, maybe a minor one. I’m not gonna dive into the whys but I’m gonna say this one out: not everyone you see smiling is happy. In my case, I appear to smile and laugh like a mad woman a lot, but when I’m alone, I scream and sob like a crazy person. In fact, just typing this out in my blog gives me mix feelings of wanting to scream or wanting to cry, or just laugh about it. I sound pretty nut now, don’t I? LOL
Life is tough. And I mean really tough. Maybe tough is not the word. MEAN is. Life is really mean. I see hurtful things everyday. I go through painful feelings all the time. My surrounding is as peaceful as it look (coz I live near a cemetery for that matter! ha ha) but my mind is not. There are so many things I want to achieve, so many things I wish I could do, so much things to say, so little space/chance to do it.. I had this really, really long talk with someone last night. I said a Rosary yesterday morning when I skipped Sunday Mass and I feel at ease now. In fact, I received an email this morning that brings good news – which lightens up my mood instantly.
God is good. I cannot express that enough, despite having this love-hate relationship with Him.
Thank you, Lord for answering my prayers. You have saved me from doing silly things like maybe getting a motorcycle and hurt myself. (I’m kidding).
Thank you, God.