Personal Stuff

a brand new home

by month’s end, i will be moving to a brand new home – my dream home!

will be busy by then.. but i am already thinking of a new theme for this blog too. my poor, poor abandoned blog. *Ü*

He aint heavy, he’s my friend.

An old friend called my cellphone yesterday, out of the blue. He was my colleague back when I was still working in Kuala Lumpur. To be honest, I miss him. I miss his funny-side, always the guy who made everyone laugh – despite not doing it on purpose. He told me of his new job, of how he just got a raise in his salary that he’s really happy about it. He also told me of an old flame of his who, out of the blue (just like him), called him up. Probably trying to rekindle the old relationship. lol

We talked for about an hour. He even talked to Bunny. I wish I can work with him again. He’s such a sweet guy who cares about his friends. I remember back then, whenever I go tapau for food, he’ll accompany me to the stall even without me asking. And everyday, he’ll buy Hacks (that cough candy) for me coz he knows I love it.

:-(

Anyway, with the thought of wanting to see this old friend as often as I used to, I suggested to Bunny that when his company expands, he should consider hiring him. Not just because he’s my friend, but he’s also someone who we both trust. With our lives. Besides, Bunny could skip the trouble of going through easybackgrounds.com background checks.

Now all I have to do is wait. :-)

Where have all the flowers gone?

It’s been a while since I last went to a place with very loud music – ie. a drinking pub. LOL. Compared to my life 2 years ago, my current life is kinda boring. I spend most of my time sitting at my desk, working on a new design on either the computer or on a sheet of paper. And then I’d go out with Bunny and the dog for an evening joyride. Sometimes we go to the beach, sometimes we just take a stroll around the neighborhood. If there is one thing I can say about the parks in Kota Kinabalu is that I HATE THEM. Not because they aren’t pretty, it’s because they DO NOT allow PETS to enter. I mean, what’s the big deal??? We are a very responsible pet owners who picks up their pet’s poo and throw it in the bin. I’m sure everyone else does the same at the park. So WHY NO PETS?? It’s so hard to find a place to walk our dog because of this stupid policy! And because of this stupid policy, we had to resort to taking the dog for a walk at the beach or just around the neighborhood. So boring!

Now where was I? Oh, my life. Yes, my life’s kinda boring now. I don’t have many friends over here. I really miss my old friends back in KL…. I have no one to talk to. I have no one to go out and yumcha with and gossip talk about nothing. Just tell stupid jokes and laughing as hard as I used to do.. Sigh… Well, it’s not that I don’t have any friends here in KK, I just.. (you know how hard it is to build a close friendship??) I have friends, of course, but none so close.

Anyway, before I go deep into the emo thingy, I’d like to just say two words: ‘instrument knobs‘. I don’t know why I said that, but that just comes to my mind. LOL

Talk again later.

Fickled heart, and bitterness..

First of all, I’d like to thank the Lord above. These past few months, I have been in some kind of.. how do I put it? Minor depression?

According to the US National Library of Medicine, depression is described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods.

I’m not gonna lie to myself or to my blog (which nobody reads, anyway) that I am still in the phase of depression. Well, maybe a minor one. I’m not gonna dive into the whys but I’m gonna say this one out: not everyone you see smiling is happy. In my case, I appear to smile and laugh like a mad woman a lot, but when I’m alone, I scream and sob like a crazy person. In fact, just typing this out in my blog gives me mix feelings of wanting to scream or wanting to cry, or just laugh about it. I sound pretty nut now, don’t I? LOL

Life is tough. And I mean really tough. Maybe tough is not the word. MEAN is. Life is really mean. I see hurtful things everyday. I go through painful feelings all the time. My surrounding is as peaceful as it look (coz I live near a cemetery for that matter! ha ha) but my mind is not. There are so many things I want to achieve, so many things I wish I could do, so much things to say, so little space/chance to do it.. I had this really, really long talk with someone last night. I said a Rosary yesterday morning when I skipped Sunday Mass and I feel at ease now. In fact, I received an email this morning that brings good news – which lightens up my mood instantly.

God is good. I cannot express that enough, despite having this love-hate relationship with Him.

Thank you, Lord for answering my prayers. You have saved me from doing silly things like maybe getting a motorcycle and hurt myself. (I’m kidding).

Thank you, God.

It’s my birthday, I know.

Since it’s my birthday, I have to refrain myself from posting some emo stuff today. Nanti tidak bagus nasib urang bilang.

So the first thing I did today was to wake up to the sound of my dog whining while he looks outside the window. He wanted so bad to go out and play with his dog-friend, Tinie. That poor dog didn’t get to explore the outside world since yesterday since his Papa was out the whole day entertaining his GM who’s down from the West. I don’t really take the dog out for a walk – he’ll just pull me face down to the ground!

My initial plan today was to go out and shop for new shoes. I’m thinking… ballerina flats. Lots of store displaying nice flats these days… but since Bunny’s out with his GM again, I guess I’d just have to wait till he comes back. Tonight. Or maybe tomorrow.

*sigh*

Nevertheless, I’m still happy. I just placed an order for Kryolan’s TV Paint Stick from USA yesterday..and I am SOOOOOO looking forward for it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME

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